


best laid plans

by sarih93



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8466322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarih93/pseuds/sarih93
Summary: What happens when you meet the love of your life at the worst possible moment?





	1. Chapter 1

Punctuality was very important in her line of work. That's why Hope got used to arriving at least 15 minutes earlier and it gives her the opportunity to use that time to review her notes. Of course that means that whenever the person she's supposed to interview runs late it gets real annoying fast.

Harvey had given her the assignment of interviewing a YA novelist that made a name for herself thanks to the way she wrote disabled children. However the woman was running 20 minutes late and Hope’s patience was running out. After memorizing her notes Hope alternated her time by looking at her watch and glaring at the doors of the cafe, willing the woman to hurry up. 

Just when she was texting Laura to find out how much longer she had to wait someone called her name.

 Hope looked up and recognized the YA novelist she was supposed to write a profile on.

"Sorry I'm late but my babysitter is sick so I had to bring my daughter along and it's not easy leaving the house with a seven months baby."

The woman was in fact pushing a stroller with a dozing baby in it. At least the baby looked cute with her little pink onesie.

"Don't worry about it. If you're ready we can start." Hope was more than willing to cut the mother some slack but she still had a job to do.

The writer offered insightful answers and while she listened Hope could see what the article would be like. 

They were almost done when the baby that had been sitting contentedly half awake started to cry.

"Shh what's wrong sweetie? Are you hungry?" The woman was quick to bring the baby to her arms. With her free hand she checked the diaper bag that was hanging on the stroller. "I left the food in the car, do you mind holding her for a minute?"

"Sure," Hope blinked and hesitantly took the baby. The baby was letting out soft whimpers but when she found herself up close with a stranger she put her fist in her mouth and stared curiously at Hope. Hope smiled and relaxed, holding the baby much more naturally.

True to her word it didn’t take long for the writer to come back.

"Thank you, there's never a dull moment when you have kids you know?”

Hope offered the woman a tight-lipped smile. The rest of the interview went by quickly but from time to time Hope would look over to the the baby busy with her bottle.

**

Later on, whenever someone asked she'll say that was the moment the idea came to her mind. And after some research she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

**

It was a no brainer who she was going to tell first. Hope and Carli did their best to see each other at least once a month, lately Hope's schedule had been crazy so when Hope called Carli to meet up for lunch her best friend agreed immediately. Her plan was to wait to drop the bomb after they were done eating but she didn’t  last that long, right after the waiter takes their order she just blurted it out.

"I want to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby." She amended.

"You're pregnant?" Carli screeched in a very unusual way.  In any other circumstance it would’ve been hilarious.

"Not yet. But I’ve been going to a fertility doctor and I already have an appointment for the procedure."

"So you're going to be a single mother?" There's no judgment in Carli's voice but she's obviously having trouble understanding. Until now Hope had only vaguely mentioned wanting to have a family.

"Yes, I want to be a mother and my love life is a mess. I don't want to wait to meet "the one" to start a family. A marriage doesn't guarantee a happy ending." Hope always tried to think about her ideal partner but each day the picture seemed more blurry. 

"You're crazy."

"But you already knew that." Hope smirked and that at least earned her a smile from her best friend.

"Are you sure about this? You're 33, you still have time." Even as she asked Carli knew Hope was too driven for this to just be a fleeting desire.

"I know I'm not that old but I just feel it in my heart that this is the right thing to do."

Carli took a long moment to just take in her best friend. She could tell how much this meant for Hope and knew that she would always support her.

"You're going to be a great mom."

Hope smiled relieved. It meant a lot to her to know that she has the support of her best friend, and by proxy Brian. There were still a lot of people she needed to tell like her mom and probably Laura but those were going to be easier, now that she knew she had people in her corner.

After that Carli offered to accompany her to the doctor’s appointment, including the day of the intrauterine insemination, or day 0 as Hope called it. Funnily enough she had met Doctor Dawn Scott a few months ago when she was working on an article about the options to have children of the LGBT community so when Hope decided she wanted to have a baby she already knew who she wanted as her doctor.

"Ok Hope we're good to go. Now, I know you're excited but I have to remind you that the percent of woman that becomes pregnant after one cycle of IUI ranges from 10 to 20 percent." Dawn gently reminded her.

There was no need for it though, Hope had done more than enough research and she was trying to keep her expectations in check. She knew that despite the fact that every single exam she has gone through indicated that there was no reason to think this wouldn’t work for her it didn’t mean much.

 Hope nodded in recognition all the same. "Let's do this," she said determinedly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i didn't think it would take me almost a month to update but between the elections, work and some personal stuff November hasn't been easy. But the second chapter is finally up.

It's been six months of disappointing negative results and it’s starting to take a toll on Hope. Yes from the beginning she knew there was no way to tell how long it would take but without fail after every procedure she would get her hopes up, only to be let down every time.

After her latest attempt two days ago Hope can’t stop the dangerous paths her mind goes to whenever she’s alone: maybe she wasn't meant to have a baby and she will never get pregnant. Or worse, maybe she will but only to lose her baby.

 

Hope desperately needed a break from her toxic thoughts. When Jess invited her to go out for drinks with the rest of their group of friends from work she immediately said yes. Obviously she wasn't going to drink but Doctor Scott did tell her to avoid stress and she had to try.

Hope’s plan works just like she imagined.  Hope was laughing more freely than she had in a while listening to Keelin try to imitate Kim and Corsie's strong Scottish accent. And was the first one to start teasing Jess after she struck down with the pretty waitress. 

When it was Haley's turn to buy a round Hope tags along. They learned the hard way that Kop couldn't be trusted to safely bring back the drinks. One time she actually broke four pitchers of beer simultaneously.

While Kop was trying to flag down one of the bartenders Hope stood back and watched bemusedly. 

"The trick is letting them think you're not in a hurry. Bartenders are like sharks, they smell fear."

The random comment came from a smaller woman with a freckled face and dressed almost too casual but she can pull it off. 

"I'm Kelley." She says with a nod and Hope returns the favor by introducing herself.

"Can I buy you a drink? It seems like your friend is going to be here for a while."

"I'm actually not drinking."

It’s supposed to be a blow off but surprisingly enough that doesn't discourage Kelley.

"That makes two of us. I already drank my fill of alcohol of the month."

"Today is the 12th." Hope replies disbelievingly.

Kelley shrugs. "I'm a personal trainer so I have to lead by example."

Hope takes a moment to check her out and yeah Kelley certainly seems fit enough for the job. Kelley doesn't miss her action and she raises an eyebrow mischievously. Hope is not embarrassed though, after all it was Kelley who approached her. 

"What if I buy you a virgin Cuba Libre?"

Hope is charmed despite herself. She looks back to where Haley was but she’s already back to the table with the others, she probably already told them Hope ditched her.

"Yes you can get me a Coke." She gives in.

Kelley beams and immediately gets a bartender to give her the drinks. 

Talking with Kelley is easy. She is funny and always seems to have a response to any of Hope’s teasing. Hope knows she's flirting when she blatantly stares at Kelley’s lips. But Kelley is the one that puts her hand around Hope's forearm and doesn't bother to try to come with an excuse. 

Hope looks around and she can't find her friends. That means they already left the bar and they’re assuming that she’s going home with Kelley. She can only imagine the teasing next time they see her.

"Do you want to get out of here?" If she's going to be hearing about this on Monday she might as well have some fun.

For the first time all night Kelley seems to be caught off guard.

"My place is close by."

She recovers quickly but still, Hope is going to consider Kelley's blush a personal victory.

 

Hope wouldn’t be able to describe Kelley’s apartment but she could write a 1000 words article about how Kelley’s kissing technique made her feel like she really had spent the entire night drinking. Kelley is good, there’s no argument there, but it doesn’t take Hope long to figure out that if she bites the right spot in her neck Kelley’s movements get even hastier. Things get the best sort of frantic after that and Hope finds herself flat on her back in Kelley’s bed trying to not let go as soon as Kelley puts her tongue between her legs.

 

Two rounds left Hope more than sated and she knows that if she doesn’t leave now she won’t be able to.

“No wait don’t leave, there’s more I want to do to you in the morning.” Hope might be too sensitive for another go but Kelley’s words and her hand resting dangerous low on Hope’s belly make her change her mind.

 

The next morning Hope wakes up first with Kelley hanging on to her. She knows she has to leave immediately if she doesn’t want things to get awkward. What is she even supposed to say: thanks for the sex but I might be pregnant? That was a weird statement to say to another woman.

It’s easier said than done though with how tight Kelley’s grip is. Slowly Hope tries to sneak away but with no success.

“You trying to leave without saying goodbye?”

“I have to go.”

“Hang on, let me make you breakfast at least.” It takes them a minute to locate their clothes

Kelley opens her fridge. “Huh, it seems like I need to go buy groceries today. I should have cereal though.”

To Hope’s surprise Kelley puts water on the counter next to the milk. Her surprise grows when Kelley adds water to her cereal bowl.

“Cereal with water?” Hope blurts out.

“I swear it tastes better.”

“I guess this is why you're not supposed to sleep with a stranger,” Hope mumbles to herself.

“Did you say something?”

“No I didn’t” Hope denies it. She eats as fast as she can to get out of there.

“So I still don't have your phone number,” Kelley calls out when Hope is about to leave. "How are we supposed to repeat this?"

“What makes you think there's going to be a second time?” Hope gives her an intimidating glance

“The sex was great. And if it was that awesome from the start I think we owe it to ourselves to see how much better it can even get.” Kelley waggles her eyebrows.

Hope bites her lip and makes a split second decision. She walks over and grabs Kelley's phone from her hands to put in her number and her full name.

“There, now you have my phone.”

Kelley looks down to the screen with a smile. “See you later Hope Solo.”

 

Hope hurries back to her apartment, still feeling the effects of last night. She hasn't even opened the door when she gets a text.

_Water beats milk. Unless it's chocolate milk._

Hope saves the number under Kelley; she realizes she doesn't even know her last name.

 

She’s just leaving the bathroom after a much needed shower when her phone starts ringing. For a moment she thinks it might be Kelley but its Carli.

“Hi Car, what’s up?”

“Nothing I just wanted to check up on you. I thought you looked weird after we left the doctor's office on Thursday.”

Hope smiles faintly at her best friend’s concern. “Thank you Carli. It hasn’t been easy, I guess a part of me thought I would be the exception and I would get pregnant on the first try,” she admits out loud for the first time.

“I know it’s going to work Hope. You just need to relax and listen to your doctor.”

Hope doesn't tell her she already found a pretty effective relaxation technique. 


	3. Chapter 3

It takes Hope two days to text Kelley to invite her over to her place. After that it keeps happening. Kelley has taken a liking to sending Hope pictures of her after working out all sweaty and her abs on display. She knows they get Hope all worked up and it’s only a matter of time before Hope wants to meet up.

It’s just sex though. Great sex sure but nothing more. There’s no talk about exclusivity or their future, they don’t go on dates or anything close. This is why Hope reasons there’s no need to tell Kelley that she’s trying to have a baby.

 

It had been one of those days were everything went wrong. There was a huge delay on the subway and after standing around in an overcrowded station for over thirty minutes Hope had to walk to her office. None of the sources she needed for a piece bothered to answer her calls or even respond to her emails. That of course made Harvey mad and when she gets mad Hope can’t really understand her accent. And on top of that the reduction of caffeine after every try was always a problem.

Hope is just getting home when she receives a text from Kelley. It’s just a funny meme but it gives Hope an idea.  

“I hate people,” she says as soon as Kelley answers the phone

Kelley chuckles. “Isn't talking to people a big part of your work?”

“They should pay me not to kill everyone.” She growls.

“That bad of a day huh? Tell you what, just sit back and relax. I'll be there in ten.” Kelley promises. “I’ll take your clothes off and your mind off whatever is bothering you. We can save time if you start taking off your clothes now.”

Hope scoffs and rolls her eyes.

She could really go for a glass of wine while she waits for Kelley but that no alcohol thing was a bitch. Hope is just entering her bedroom and she looks in the mirror for a moment. She knows how good she looks and the vain part of her is a curious and a little worried about what pregnancy will do to her body. Hope knows it’ll be worth it but in the mean time there’s no harm in appreciating her fitness so she follows Kelley’s instructions. Leaving on only her panties.  Kelley is going to swallow her tongue. 

To: Kelley 

The door is unlocked 

As promised it takes Kelley less than ten minutes to get to Hope's place. Hope smiles to herself when she hears Kelley knock on the door even though she knows all she has to do is push. 

"So I take it that –“ Kelley’s expression is even better than she expected. 

"You were saying?" She challenges smugly.

"I honestly don't know." Kelley is in awe. "Fuck Hope you're gorgeous." Kelley is always telling Hope how attractive she finds her but this was new. 

"Are you just going to stand there?"

Kelley smiles before quickly taking off her clothes. She almost trips as she hops to the bed. 

As soon as Kelley jumps on her Hope tries to turn them around. 

"No, you had a bad day. Let me help.”

Just like Kelley predicted after their first time the sex only got better. She discovered all of Hope’s erogenous zones and maybe even created a few.   

Afterward Kelley’s stomach rumbles loudly.

“I might have skipped dinner to come here.” She admits sheepishly.

“Is pizza okay for you?”

“Better than okay.”

“Give me a minute.” Hope orders the pizza through her cell phone. “It’ll be here in 20. In the meantime… it’s my turn.”

This time Kelley doesn’t argue when she finds herself on her back with Hope hovering over her.

 

Trying to remove grease stains from her sheets sounds like a nightmare so Hope rejects Kelley’s idea to eat in the bed.

Hope is a little impressed by the gusto with which Kelley devours the pizza.

“Shouldn’t you eat all healthy and crap?”

“Yeah but after two workouts,” she points with her pizza slice to Hope’s bedroom, “I figure I earned the carbs.”

Hope figures she’s got a point.

“Not to mention I totally turned your day around right?” Without letting go of her new pizza slice Kelley stuck her free hand for a fist bump.

Hope reluctantly complies. “You’re a dork.”

Kelley scoffs. “Says the woman with the framed Star Wars poster on her living room.”

“Star Wars is a masterpiece.”

Kelley raises her hands in surrender. “Calm down Jedi, I never said I didn’t like it.” She chuckles and shakes her head. “Never in a million years would I have pictured you as a sci-fi fan.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

 

The date for her follow up doctor’s appointment arrives quickly. It kind of takes Hope by surprise, which is a nice change from the dread that used to consume her when she religiously checked her calendar.

“So Hope how have you been feeling this past couple of weeks?” Doctor Scott asks while she draws Hope’s blood sample.

“The same,” she deadpans. She knows three weeks it’s too early to for any symptoms and right now she’s too nervous for small talk.

Doctor Scott’s smiles understandingly. “I’ll be right back with your test results.”

Hope busies herself by putting on the small Band-Aid. Her phone dings but she doesn’t check who is texting her. It’s either Carli wanting to know how everything is going or Kelley is bored and sexting.

Hope’s head snaps anxiously when she hears the door opening. Dawn is smiling and Hope already knows what she’s going to say. Funnily enough she barely hears the actual words.

She’s pregnant.   

The moment she's alone she starts crying quietly, she's happy and overwhelmed in the best way. 

Hope cradles her flat belly. There’s life growing inside of her.

Her dreams are coming true but she would be lying to herself if she said that she also wasn’t picturing in her head a certain freckled face, twisted in anger.


	4. Chapter 4

Hope doesn't know how to tell Kelley she’s pregnant, or even if she has to. She doesn’t owe Kelley anything, they've never even talked about any sort of commitment. In the month they’ve been sleeping together (Hope can hardly believe it’s already been a month) Kelley could’ve been seeing other people. Except she knows Kelley hasn’t, unless she’s a compulsive liar who likes to say she’s buying groceries when she’s really fucking some bimbo.

Even Kelley and their messy situation can’t dampen her enthusiasm. This is what she wanted and now that it is a reality she couldn’t be happier. She hasn’t shared the good news with a lot of people yet, Doctor Scott advised her to wait at least another month but the few announcements have been really special.

Hope surprised herself when her first call after leaving the doctor's office wasn't Carli. Instead of her best friend she called her mom, who was ecstatic and offered to fly to New York for the baby's birth, which was saying a lot since Judy shared her daughter's aversion to planes and it was a long flight from Seattle to NY. It meant a lot for Hope to have her mom's support. Just before she hung up Judy quietly told her "you're going to be a great mom Hopey" and the words had warmed Hope's heart.

Carli's reaction was priceless. Her best friend started crying, not sniffing but full on crying, when she heard the news over the phone. Despite what anyone said in college Carli certainly isn't a robot but although she weeps like everyone else whenever a dog dies in a move Carli isn't really a crier. Hiccuping, Carli had told Brian to come down to the living room. Hope smiled when Brian asked who died and she heard the smack from when presumably Carli slapped his arm before sharing the news. Brian warmly congratulated Hope and he promised to buy the baby's first golf club. Eventually Carli shooed Brian away so that she could ask Hope what she was going to do about her "lover girl." Hope groaned, knowing she was never going to live down the embarrassing way Carli found out she was seeing someone. Stupid phone sent the picture to the wrong number. Carli didn't sound convinced by Hope's rationalization for not telling Kelley but at least she stayed quiet about it.

The next week she asked Laura to talk alone on her office and she told her boss. Laura's reaction was fairly typical of her, she gave Hope a hug and told her to never hesitate to ask if she ever needed anything. The editor was known for her familiar approach with her staff. 

The "morning" sickness doesn't hit Hope until the seventh week. Morning sickness is probably not the right term since she doesn't start to feel nauseous until the afternoon. On one hand it makes it easier to keep Kelley from asking awkward questions. But on the other hand it absolutely sucks to have to always be rushing to the office's bathroom. That makes people start to catch on that she's pregnant. Haley was the first and the first thing she asked was if she knew who the father was. In her defense Kop looked like she regretted her lack of filter before Hope glared at her. 

While the occasional round of morning sickness was a pain in the ass, it's nothing compared to what feels like the reduction of her bladder. Doctor Scott explained to her that there's nothing different about her bladder and that the increase of her need to pee is caused by her increasing blood volume and the extra fluid being processed through her kidneys.

Knowing the medical explanation means nothing to Hope when she has to wake up twice during the middle of the night to pee. Kelley could sleep through anything so Hope doesn't feel bad whenever she has to move the smaller woman off her to get up from bed.

Hope doesn't understand people that hate going out by themselves. She could spend hours at the coffee shop close to her apartment by herself. Truthfully She would've asked Kelley what her plans were for that Saturday but lately she's been avoiding being the first to reach out. If Kelley has noticed she keeps it to herself.

Too bad the universe has a sick sense of humor.

"Is this seat taken?"

Before she looks up from her book Hope already knows who it is. Judging by the sweatpants Kelley probably comes from the gym. Although with her fashion sense it's hard to tell.

"Are you stalking me?" Hope responds with a question. Kelley chuckles but she doesn't move to sit down so with her feet Hope pushes back the chair Kelley is closest to.

"I would never do such a thing. I was in the neighborhood and remembered that someone I know," Kelley winks at her, “speaks highly of this place."

Hope opens her mouth to say that that sounded kind of stalkerish but she closes it when Kelley signals to someone by the door.

A woman with brown curly hair and green eyes nervously approaches them.

"Here Press, now you go get me my coffee."

Hope is seriously confused.

"Hi, I'm Hope." She introduces herself hoping someone will tell her what's going on.

Instead the woman points an accusing finger at Kelley.

"You cheated! Go buy your own coffee."

Now Hope is even more confused.

"Hey! The bet was that you were going to buy if I convinced the gorgeous woman reading a book to let me sit in down in her table. And here I am."

"Yeah but you're already sleeping with her." After she says it Press, which must be a nickname, looks at Hope trying to see if she stepped over the line but Hope is just amused by the entire situation.

"But there were no rules."

Realizing Kelley wasn't going to budge Press begrudgingly goes over to the counter

"She's right. You cheated."

Kelley smiles unapologetically. "Oh it's not a big deal. I'll buy next time."

“You're such a good friend.”

"Thank you” Hope rolls her eyes at Kelley ignoring her sarcasm. "How was your week? Felt tempted to kill anyone?" Kelley quips. 

“No more than usual.”

Kelley's laughter is anything but discreet but it always draws a chuckle from Hope 

Light conversation with a heavy dose of sarcasm is a constant between them. That and great sex obviously.

Eventually Press comes back with the two coffee cups. Hope asks her her name. 

"Christen. Sorry I should've started with that but Kelley has been calling me by my last name since college so I'm used to it,"

Kelley just shrugs, more interested in her coffee.

Christen, besides being friends with Kelley since college, is also a yoga instructor at the same fitness center Kelley works at. At first Hope doesn't understand how they've been friends for so long but then Christen sasses Kelley right back and she sees how they can get along so well. 

Everything was going great until the two of them start to talk about a birthday party for another coworker.

"Hope maybe you can come with me."

Hope nods and smiles but inside she's freaking out. It sounds like a small thing but you don't invite your fuck buddy (Hope hates that term but its fitting) to a work party. You invite your girlfriend

All Hope can think about is that she has to break things off with Kelley. The thought makes her feel more nauseous than morning sickness but it has to be done. She can't string Kelley along.

Hope snaps back to reality when Christen says she has to go and she politely tells the other woman goodbye.

"Do you want to go hang out at your place?"

"I think we should stop seeing each other.

Despite the fact that they talked over each other Hope knows Kelley heard her.

"Why?"

"I don't have the time. My work is too demanding."

"Luckily my hours are pretty flexible so we can work something out."

Kelley looks at her challenging Hope to make another excuse.

"I'm ten weeks pregnant," Hope blurts out. Kelley's eyes widen but Hope doesn't give her time to say anything. Now she's in a roll and she blurts out everything about why she decided to have a kid by herself and that the day they met on the bar she didn't know the procedure had been a success. 

Kelley blinks. And then blinks again. "That's a lot of information," she says dumbly.

It doesn't seem like Kelley is going to say anything else and it makes Hope feel rejected so she gets up to go home.

If her eyes well up that's obviously just the hormones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my favorite so far


	5. Chapter 5

After leaving the coffee shop Hope went home, turned her phone off and planted herself in front of her TV with a big bowl of popcorn. Star Wars original trilogy has been her escape from reality since she was a kid and it didn't fail her now. The pregnancy combined with her emotional exhaustion helped her go right to sleep after the last movie ended even if it was way earlier than she's used to.

 

It was past 8 in the morning when an incessant knocking woke her up. For a moment she thought it was Carli, overreacting over not being able to get in touch with her for 12 hours but she has a key.

"What?!" Hope snaps as she yanks the door open.

If she wasn't awake before she sure is now. She doesn't have time to think about what's going on before she has to step aside to avoid being bowled over by an angry Kelley.

"Do you have any idea how messed up it is what you did to me?”

Hope bristles, thinking Kelley is talking about her pregnancy but she doesn't get a chance to speak.

"You just left me there! I was in shock and you walked away from me. One moment you're giving me all these bullshit reasons for breaking up with me, the next moment you tell me you're pregnant and THEN you just left me there blubbering like an idiot."

“It seemed pretty clear to me what you thought and there wasn’t a reason for me to stay.”

“Oh really? In the five seconds before you bailed you figured out what I was thinking?”

It was a lot more than five seconds. For Hope at least.

Hope takes a step back and Kelley deflates. She didn’t come here to yell. She has a lot to say and more than a few questions to ask. A screaming match won’t fix anything.

“You can’t know what I think because at that moment I didn’t know it either.   I Mean as a lesbian I don’t have a lot of experience with surprise pregnancies.” Kelley can tell the exact moment Hope lowers her guard now that she doesn’t feel so attacked.

Wordlessly Hope sits down on the couch and warily looks to see where Kelley is going to sit. Kelley doesn’t overthink it and sits sideways next to Hope, close enough to touch while still being able to talk face to face.

"I want you.” Kelley cuts right to the chase. “I have feelings for you. We have a lot to talk about but this doesn't change anything for me."

Hope smiles genuinely and it encourages Kelley to keep going. She has a lot to say since she hasn’t been able to think about anything else.

“I also think what you’re doing is really brave.”

Hope is touched by everything Kelley is saying and without realizing it a few tears trickled out of her eyes. Kelley looks alarmed.

“It's just hormones.” Hope wipes away her tears. “Everyone has been really supportive but they haven’t put it like that.”

“Well it’s true, most people are afraid of going after what they want and you're doing it even if it's really hard.” Kelley hesitates, they know surprisingly little about each other for two people who have been sleeping together regularly for over a month now. "I'm a physical therapist, that’s what I went to school for at least. After graduating I went to a few interviews but with no luck. The personal trainer gig was supposed to be temporary but eventually I got too comfortable to even think about leaving that job.”

“Thank you, really.” Hope takes a deep breath.  “Look I'm sorry about the way I told you, I could've handled that better but I panicked.”

Kelley nods in recognition "Now that everything is out on the open do you still want this to stop?"

“Kelley I like you too,” Hope confess. It makes her feel vulnerable but she figures she owes it to Kelley. “But my baby is my number one priority so whatever this is its going to be secondary.” Hope would say that they need to take things slow but there’s no way they’re going to stop sleeping together now. 

“I get it, you don't need me to be your baby daddy.” It’s stupid but is the most Kelley thing she has said since she walked in and it’s a relief for Hope.

“Something like that.”

“Did you know that after you hit 10 weeks your boobs start to grow?” Kelley abruptly changes the subject.

“Yes. How do you know that?”

"I'm technically a health professional, we know this things," Kelley says but she can’t keep a straight face. “No I actually did some research last night.”

"And that's the part that stood out to you?"

Kelley shrugs impishly and now that it's clear that the time for serious talk is over she straddles Hope and unbuttons her shirt.

"Yeah they're bigger."

"Kelley stop staring and just _do_ something."

"In a minute."

 

Hope goes to the doctor to listen her baby's heartbeat for the first time. Kelley knows about the appointment and she knows that Carli goes with her. Hope muses that Kelley should meet Carli, they would get along well she thinks. Although it's hard to imagine Kelley not getting along with whoever she wants.

 On the waiting room Hope is checking the magazine latest issue, she's reading Jess' piece about tattoos parlor owned by women. Jess loves writing about tattoos, her other passion, but Laura can't always let her so Hope can imagine how stoked her friend is. Just then she receives a text from Kelley. Nothing important, Kelley is planning a prank on Christen but Hope smiles absentmindedly at her phone. 

“Kelley?” Carli asks. 

Hope makes an affirmative noise. 

"How's your lady friend?" Have you told her yet is what Carli is asking. Hope explains everything about the conversation with Kelley (well maybe not everything, there are things Carli probably doesn't want to know) and their agreement that Kelley won't be too involved in her pregnancy.

“That was very mature of you.”

“You don't have to sound so surprised.” Hope says in a dry tone.

Carli smiles but she stays serious. “You two might have talked about everything but that doesn't mean things won't get complicated. Things are never that simple when it comes to feelings.”

Hope knows that but there's nothing she can do about it and she has enough to worry about. Luckily she doesn't need to think about a response because the nurse calls her name. 

"Are you excited?" Dawn, they're past the last name phase, asks. 

"Very," Hope answers emphatically.

"Well let's not keep thee mother to be waiting."

As she listens to the beautiful sound of her baby's heartbeat Hope cries happy tears. She doesn't even try to blame the hormones.

 

Telling Kelley about the pregnancy and her reacting so well when Hope told her she wanted them to stay together but she needs to handle her baby by herself is a relief. She doesn't have to lie anymore and when Kelley calls after work they can talk about today’s appointment.

"So what was it like? Hearing the heartbeat?"

"Amazing," Hope breathes. Honestly it was a bit of a surreal experience. "It's an actual baby you know? A living being growing inside of me."

"You totally cried." Hope doesn't need to see her to know Kelley is smirking at her.

"Maybe," it's as close as an admission as Hope will get.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine although I'm dealing with some heartburn. I'm going to need to buy maternity clothes soon."

"I'll go with you to buy new bras."

"Wow thank you, you're so selfless."

"Just another great thing about me. Ugh I'm wiped. An instructor called in sick and he had two classes today that yours truly had to cover. I could use a massage."

"Me too."

Kelley groans. "I'm gonna have to go to your place for that massage?"

“I’m not getting up.”

“Fine, pregnancy beats soreness.” Kelley admits. “I’ll crawl my way over.”

Hope hangs up with a smile.

Today she hasn’t stopped smiling and it’s the greatest feeling ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys liked it? I hope so because it might be the last chapter of 2016, I probably won't have time to write for the next two weeks.   
> Enjoy the holidays and let me know what you would like to see happen on the remaining chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short but at least I'm back? so I get points for trying I hope.

If Hope had to describe what it’s like to be three months pregnant in one word it would be uncomfortable. She now spends a lot of her time feeling uncomfortable, like there's something off about her. Which in a way there is, this is after all her first time being three months pregnant. 

Her life goes on though. She wakes up in the morning and sometimes it almost takes her by surprise that she’s pregnant in that first waking moment and looks at her belly, no longer flat but not really a bump yet.

Everyone at work learned early on to not treat her with kid gloves. Especially now that she’s over her morning sickness. Her only problem right now is her fast metabolism or whatever it is that is stopping her from gaining enough weight. Doctor Scott recommended a ton of smoothies and dried fruit. Mentioning it to Kelley was a mistake, now every time she comes over she brings dried fruit.

"Did you know the baby is about the size of an avocado right now?"

Either Kelley is still doing research about pregnancy or she just memorized a lot of random facts just to annoy her. Knowing her it's probably both.

"And can move their limbs." 

"Can you stop?" If Hope’s voice is a little harsher than that deserved Kelley doesn’t seem to notice. Which is only fair since she knows it was on purpose.

Kelley brightens up. "You know there's one more thing I learned about pregnancies, it really does increase the sex drive."

Hope blushes. Even with how often they have sex there have been days when she needs to... help herself. "I haven't heard you complaining."

“Trust me, I'm not complaining. I'm more than willing to help you out whenever and whenever,” Kelley says with a smirk that does things to Hope.

“Really?" Hope has to clear her throat after her voice breaks because Kelley is lazily running her hand over her thigh and she's getting dangerously high.

“I'm just saying if it's the middle of the day and you find yourself completely wet," Kelley presses her hand to Hope's mound for emphasis. Hope can’t contain the breathy moan she lets outs. "You can call me and I'll go to your office, we can find a nice empty closet and I'll get down on my knees." The thin material of her leggings means that Hope feels how Kelley's fingers circle her clit and it makes her throb deliciously. "We both know how much you like it when I get down on my knees and go down on you." Kelley touches her a little more firmly and it's not going to take long. Kelley bites Hope's neck and her back arches up and she moans embarrassingly loud. 

"Did you just...?" Kelley doesn't finish her question and Hope notes her pupils are dilated. Hope nods, still hazy but also feeling a little embarrassed because of how fast the whole thing was. "Damn that's hot. I mean I know I'm good but that's a first." 

"Shut up." There’s no bite in her voice but she has to try and dissuade Kelley from her cocky frat boy moments or else she might learn that Hope doesn’t totally hate them and then she’ll never stop.

Kelley chuckles and cuddles closer to Hope.

Hope tries to return the favor but Kelley gently stops her from unbuttoning her jeans. "I'm okay, it’s not like we’re keeping score. Let’s see if there's anything on Netflix. How about Pitch Perfect? We both like that one."

Like might be a bit of a stretch but out of all the movies Kelley insists on watching repeatedly it’s one of the less annoying. Besides last time Kelley let her geek out over Star Trek so she hear her theories about how Beca and Chloe are “endgame.”

“Fine,” Hope concedes.

“More dry apples?” Kelley waves them in her face as the movie is starting.

Hope wordlessly bats her hand away. The slices of apple end up in Kelley’s sweater who just shrugs. “More for me.”

 

Hope talks to her baby all the time. All the books recommended it but they don't mention how self-conscious she would feel at first, like she's just talking to herself. It doesn't help that she doesn't know the baby's gender yet. She starts by reading everything out loud, from the news to her texts (except for the R-rated ones from Kelley of course.) But soon it becomes a habit. Whenever she’s alone in bed she’ll talk to them. Sometimes she tells them things about her, kind of introducing herself. She also reads them bedtime stories, with voices and everything to practice, it never fails to make her smile when she thinks of the two of them doing this after the baby is born.

 

Hope loves baths, she loves how soothing they are and even if now she can’t indulge in a glass of wine she stills takes them. She was relaxing in one of them when a strange feeling made her open her eyes. She holds her breath and concentrates.

There it is again.

Not quite the popcorn popping she read about but it’s definitely her baby saying hi.

“Hi baby.” Hope laughs with joy and cradles her belly.

It doesn’t happen again but she doesn’t care. She just felt her baby move for the first time. Immediately Hope reaches for her phone but she just holds it for a moment. She wanted to tell Kelley. At some point during the pregnancy her first reaction to anything related to the baby became “I have to call Kelley.” Which is exactly what she didn’t want to happen. It’s not fair to either one of them to involve Kelley so much in her baby’s life when their relationship is so new and everything seems to be up in the air.

 

Hope puts the phone down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you want to see Kelley being more involved and there's going to be some of that in the next chapter


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive and writing!

“Did you hear what I just said?”

Christen’s voice snaps Kelley from her thoughts and makes her refocus on her best friend.

“Yes?” Kelley tries to sound confident but it ended up sounding like a question.

Christen rolls her eyes. “What were you thinking about?” Christen isn’t irritated, she’s genuinely curious about what’s going on with Kelley but still Kelley hesitates before answering.

“Hope had a doctor’s appointment this morning,” Kelley casually informs Christen. “She’s going to find out the baby’s sex today.” Kelley can’t help the excitement in her voice. Every day the baby seems more real and it becomes easier to understand that Hope is going to give birth to an actual mini human. She tried explaining her reasoning to Hope and she just called her weird.

“That’s amazing.” Christen smiles and Kelley nods back. It’s way more than amazing, but she doesn’t have a better word to describe it.

Kelley goes back to stretching to finish up their workout, which is what they were supposed to be doing instead of talking. From the corner of her eye she can see how Christen is looking at her and biting her lip, like she’s physically holding herself back from saying something.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say ok? That of course, it’s understandable that Hope is wary of letting me be in her baby’s life since we’ve only known and dated each other for four months. But since I’m your best friend and the most sensitive, loving and all around the best person you know, you’re worried I’m going to get hurt.”

“That’s not exactly what I was going to say.” Christen looks a little amused so Kelley is going to take that as a win. They’ve talked about this before and while Chris is supportive of her relationship she’s by nature a worrier.

“Are you going to see her today?”

“I’m not sure. Knowing Hope she’s going to go straight to the magazine so I’ll just wait and text her later.”

Christen nods. “Can you help me set up the equipment for my class?”

“Yeah let’s go.”

 

Kelley manages to restrain the urge to text Hope until the end of her shift. A minute after three and she's already out the door, sometimes she hangs around for a while but her first class started at 7 and she spent the entire time thinking about Hope.

Just when she's about to pull up her conversation with Hope, her picture shows up. Kelley doesn't answer right away, she never does. Instead, she takes a second to admire Hope's smile and the prettiest blue eyes she has ever seen.

"Hey I was just about to text you, are you at the office?"

"No, Laura sent me home." Kelley can almost hear Hope pouting at not being able to work.

"Why? Did something happen? Are you okay?"

“I’m okay,” Hope is quick to reassure Kelley. “It’s stupid really.” The longer Hope stalls Kelley grips her phone a little harder. “I was just crying and Laura gave me the day off.”

“Why were you crying?” Kelley insists, she needs to know exactly what happened.

“Because I'm having a boy and it made me think about my dad. He's never going to meet his grandson. So I called my mom and I told her it's a boy and she started crying so I started crying.” Hope rambles.

“Hope take a deep breath okay?” Kelley won't say it but she's actually a little worried Hope might hyperventilate. “Look I can be there in 15, 40 if I stop for food.”

“Can you get Chinese?”

“Of course.” She really shouldn't eat greasy Chinese food. Neither should Hope actually. But she can work out an extra hour tomorrow and buy more healthy snacks for Hope if greasy food will make her feel better.

 

Just as she leaves the restaurant Kelley walks by a kids clothing store. She looks with wide eyes at all the miniature clothes and the toys on display. There’s a green onesie that has “Momma’s boy” printed on that catches her eye. It’s so easy to imagine a little boy with his mother’s blue eyes smiling up at her. The smell of the bags in her hands reminds her that she’s on an urgent mission to cheer up Hope and she reluctantly walks away.

 

Kelley barely has a chance to knock before she hears footsteps on the other side of the door. Hope opens the door with red rimmed eyes and looking sadder than Kelley has ever seen her. It makes something inside of her ache and she doesn’t fight the urge to hug Hope, Kelley doesn’t even put the bags down first. Hope hugs her back just as tightly.

Kelley whispers comforting words as she listens to Hope’s heartbeat. Eventually they break apart but only to settle down on the couch with their food and even then they sit so close together that their elbows knock a little when they bring the food to their mouths.

Kelley doesn't know what to say to make Hope feel better, she can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent, so she decides to stay quiet while they eat. There’s comfort in the silence though.   

Kelley stops Hope from getting up to clear the trash.

"I can do that later." She starts to trace circles on Hope's hand and she smiles when older woman relaxes and leans against her, trusting Kelley to support her.

“A boy huh?” Kelley nudges Hope with her shoulder.

“Yeah,” Hope says, grinning.

“You can't name the baby Han Solo.” Kelley shakes her head emphatically. “That poor kid will get bullied all the time.”

“What about Luke?”

Kelley pretends to think about it. “That's a little better but still, try to avoid obvious Star Wars references,” she recommends. “But you know what would be a great name?”

Hope turns to her expectantly but she Kelley waits until she asks.

“What?”

“Kelly” 

Hope snorts. “And inflate that ego of yours? I don't think so," she teases.

“Fine, have you thought about any?”

“Until now since I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl I made a list of unisex names I liked. Do you want to hear them?”

Kelley nods eagerly. With some effort Hope gets up and comes back from her bedroom clutching a piece of paper.

“Ok, one of the names I like is Shawn.”

Kelley crinkles her nose “That's a douche bag name.”

Hope opens her mouth but closes it again. Kelley has a point.

“Charlie?”

Kelley makes a face. “I had a girlfriend named Charlie.”

“That's a no then,” Hope mutters and crosses the name down. “Have you slept with any Cameron?”

“I don't think so,” Kelley answers. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t find Hope’s jealousy amusing.

“I like Jordan.”

“I like it too. Jordan Solo, sounds nice,” Kelley agrees.

Hope hums as she quickly scans over her list. Kelley tries to read over her shoulder but Hope swats her away. She stills has time to read Kelley/Kelly there. She smiles to herself.

"Spencer?" Hope asks

“Yes.” Kelley's eyes light up. “Oh Spencer Solo. I like it, it sounds like a Stan Lee name.”

“A what?” The cutest little crease appears between Hope's eyebrows when she's confused.

“You know Spencer Solo, like Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Bucky Barnes…”

Hope is now even more confused. Since when did Kelley know that many comic book characters names?

“Wait, have you been watching The Big Bang Theory again?” Hope asks suspiciously. It wouldn’t be the first time Kelley does this to her.

Kelley nods amusedly as she watches Hope grumble about how much she hates that show.

“I vote for Spencer.”

“This isn't a voting. I'm not going to decide right now.”

Kelley shrugs. “Ok but now you know my vote.”

“And Bucky's name is actually James so it doesn't count,” Hope adds.

“God you're such a dork.” Kelley can't help the affection she feels and she leans over to kiss Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it won't take me as long to update the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey Hope, have you thought about having a baby shower?" 

"Carli mentioned it a few days ago and and it sounds like a good idea so she's going to plan it."

"Okay, cool."

As the middle child Kelley got used to having to share her toys and her parent's attention with her siblings. That's why she's never considered herself the jealous type. That doesn't mean that she doesn't understand what  it means when she gets irritated every time Hope tells her that she doesn't need her help because Carli already offered. Kelley will take this secret to the grave though. She knows it's illogical to be jealous of her girlfriend's married best friend. Especially since she's ever even met her. But she is jealous of how important Carli is to Hope and mostly, how much more involved with the baby she is. 

"... can you make it?"

"Huh? Oh yeah I wouldn't miss it."

Kelley stabs the piece of chicken a little harder than necessary. With her eyes fixed on her plate she misses the look Hope gives her.

* * *

 

Kelley's plan was to arrive to Hope's apartment before the guest arrived. Which is why she didn't expect to have a stranger answer the door.

"Hi I'm Carli, you must be Kelley."

No handshake and no hug but Carli’s smile seems friendly enough.

“Yeah that’s me. It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

Kelley looks around Hope’s living room. The decoration for the baby shower is very discreet, which is exactly what Kelley figured Hope would want.

“Do you need me to help out with anything?” So maybe Kelley wants to make a good impression and she’s trying to do what her mom would.

“I think we’re all set actually but, you should ask Hope after she gets out of the shower.”

Abort Plan A. What would her dad do?

“In that case, do you want a beer?”

“Sure.”

Success

Kelley quickly goes to grab the two beers. It’s not until after she closes the fridge door that she realizes Carli followed her to the kitchen. Wordlessly she extends one of the beers to Carli who immediately takes a sip.

“Thanks,” Carli says belatedly. Like she just remembered what she’s supposed to say.

Kelley smiles and relax. She can see why Carli is Hope’s best friend.

“Carl can you come give me a hand? And don’t laugh at me!”

Kelley and Carli share a chuckle at Hope’s expenses.

“You should go see what she wants,” Carli suggests.

Before Carli was even done talking Kelley had already abandoned her beer and walking towards the bedroom.

“Kelley,” Carli calls out to her and Kelley turns back. “You mean a lot to her.” Don’t hurt her is what she means and Kelley gets the message.

“I love her,” Kelley admits freely.

Carli nods knowingly.

 *

“I’m not Carli and I can’t promise I won’t laugh at you,” Kelley announces her presence.

Hope is sitting on her bed and she smiles wide as she looks at Kelley. “Shut up, just get me a pair of sandals that will fit my huge swollen feet.” Hope tries to scowl but her eyes are still crinkling with happiness.

“Yes ma’am.”

* * *

 

Hope honestly hadn't even thought about the baby shower until Carli suggested it. It's actually not really a baby shower, they're not going to play baby bingo (Bev was actually sad when she heard) or the dirty diaper game. It's exactly what Hope wanted, spending a day with her friends and Kelley and also receiving a bunch of presents.

Kelley's boisterous laughter draws her attention .This is actually the first time Kell is meeting her friends, which is just another example of how crazy the last six months have been. Of course you wouldn't know that if you watched her talk with Jess and Rachel like they are her best friends. Kelley notices she’s watching her and smiling waves at her. Hope smiles back before going to the kitchen.

Everyone has been insisting that as the guest of honor she didn’t have to do anything but Hope doesn’t like feeling useless. Besides it’s her house, she’ll wash the dishes if she wants to.

“Your friends are great.”

“I think so too,” Hope jokes.

Kelley gently bumps her with her hip. “I can do that later. I wanted to give you something.”

Hope obeys, intrigued by the way Kelley is playing with the gift bag she didn’t notice before and won’t meet her eyes.

“Here,” Kelley thrusts the bag towards Hope.

Hope peers inside the bag. It's a pair of booties and a tiny hat. They are light green and soft to the touch.

“I'm not sure if they are going to fit him right away but I figured it was better to make them a little big,” Kelley explains in a single breath.

“Wait you made these?” Hope takes a closer look and it’s true that they don’t look store bought but even with how little she knows of knitting she knows they’re pretty good. They must have taken a lot of time and work.

“Yeah, knitted them myself,” Kelley confirms.

“Thank you,” Hope breathes as she looks reverently at the tiny clothes she’s holding.

“Well you know, it's nothing,” Kelley tries to brush off how big this gesture is. 

Hope is not used to this shy version of Kelley but she needs her to know what this means to her.

“It’s amazing Kell.” To make sure Kelley understands how much her gift means to her Hope leans down to give her a short sweet kiss. While they kiss Hope feels the baby kick.

Kelley laughs and Hope knows she felt it too.

 “Did you like my gift too little guy?”

“Spencer,” Hope corrects her.

“Really?” Kelley asks with her eyes wide open like she’s waiting for Hope to tell her it’s a joke.

“It’s a good name.”

Kelley kisses her again. Just as sweetly as the first one.

Someone clears their throat behind them.

“If you guys wanted some private time you could've just told us to leave,” Carli teases them.

“Okay, leave,” Hope fires back.

“Oh come on you told us you were going to tell us the name today.”

“Let’s just tell them now babe. That way they’ll let us have some alone time.”  Kelley confidently grabs her hand and drags her to the living room. Not that Hope doesn’t want to get it over with. She just wants to make this moment last a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest I didn't think I would update this but who knows maybe I will complete it.


	9. Chapter 9

Way back when they found out Hope was having a boy, Judy offered to fly to New York a month before her due date to help out and meet her grandson. She suggested coming sooner but Hope didn’t want her mom to leave her life in Seattle to take care of her like she’s sick.

"I could've gone to the airport to pick up your mom." Kelley had suggested it for the first time when Judy sent Hope her flight information but Hope dismissed the idea. And she’s not planning on changing her mind now.

"You don't have a car," Hope points out calmly.

"I know but I could've helped her take the subway or something." Kelley is the complete opposite of calm. Her knee is bouncing frenetically. 

"This isn't the first time my mom has come to New York. She can find my apartment all by herself." Not to mention that it’s too late now, by the time Kelley gets to the airport Judy should be on her way to the apartment.

Hope is trying not to snap but her patience has been wearing thin lately. She's officially on maternity leave and she doesn't know what to do with her free time. Not that there's a lot she can do when she's 8 months pregnant. Just the other day it took her three tries to roll out of bed. 

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"I want your mom to like me," Kelley admits.

"Has anyone ever not liked you?" Hope asks. It's an honest question even if Kelley laughs at it. As far as she can tell everyone likes Kelley. Strangers, waiters (especially pretty waitresses which is something Hope could live without,) the other trainers on the gym. Kelley's laid back attitude and her southern charm is a powerful combination.

"Tommy Cooper. He tried to kiss me during recess and I kicked him on the shin. He never forgave me."

"I don't think you have to worry about my mom trying to kiss you." 

Kelley snorts and finally stops fidgeting with her hands. "Sorry, I'm being weird."

Hope starts combing her fingers through Kelley's hair in what she hopes is a relaxing way.

"You don't have to apologize. You also have nothing to worry about. She knows we're dating and she's not going to judge you."

Kelley takes a deep breath and nods. "I'm hungry, do you want anything?"

"Yes please."

 

Like Hope predicted her mom loves Kelley from the very first moment they met. After a firm handshake Kelley offered to take Judy's bags to her room and Hope could tell her mom was impressed. In her "meet the parents" mode Kelley was being very attentive which was for the best because Hope wasn't sure she could get up from the couch. 

After washing the dishes Kelley announces it's time for her to go home.

"I have to be at the gym before 7 tomorrow," she explains, mostly for Judy's benefit. Kelley's apartment is a little closer to the gym, not much but, enough to make a difference first thing in the morning.

Kelley collects her stuff. "Hope let me know when you want to go pick the furniture for the nursery."

"It's probably better if you just let me know when you're free. My schedule is pretty light tomorrow. And the day after that," Hope says sarcastically. 

Kelley chuckles. "Will do babe. I'll call you when I get off work."

Kelley gives Hope a quick kiss on the forehead. She doesn't linger but it still makes Hope's skin tingle.

"Bye Judy, I'll see you two tomorrow."

Hope watches fondly as her mom offers a hug to her girlfriend. 

Kelley's departure left a comfortable silence in the apartment. Hope feels drowsy, like her bones are weighing her down. It's a feeling she's gotten used to on the last stretch of the pregnancy. She imagines her mom is tired too after the long flight.

"I think I'm going to go to bed mom."

Judy nods. "I thought she was living here with you."

"What? Why?" Hope asks bewildered. 

Judy shrugs. "Every time I call she's here and she's going to buy the things for the nursery room with you."

"Kelley and I are not there yet." Hope tries to sound determined but it ended up sounding like a question. She curses herself, her mom can still make her feel like she's fourteen and she's been caught doing something wrong.

Judy lets it go. Hope tries to ignore how skeptical she looked. She is going to go to bed and not think about this.

It takes her more than thirty minutes to fall asleep.

 

There wasn't a lot left to buy to get the nursery room ready. Kelley knew that between everything that Hope already bought and what her friends had gotten for her, Spencer was pretty much set. But Hope wanted to buy all the furniture from an actual physical store because the baby's room, although bigger than most bedrooms in NYC, was still pretty small. 

For her part Kelley drags her feet behind Hope and Judy. When she volunteered to come she never pictured there would be so many choices. Not to mention the sheer amount of stuff babies need. Thankfully Hope seems to have a good idea of what she wants and after an hour she just needs to decide on a crib. She narrowed it down to two. Both of them are convertible, as Spencer grows it's like the crib grows with him which seems pretty cool to Kelley.

 

"Kell which one do you like?" The question caught her off-guard but Kelley takes it seriously. While she didn't share the interior decorating skills of her mom and sister Kelley takes her time considering both options despite how tired she is after a full day of training.

"That one," she points out. Hope grins and Kelley puffs her chest proudly. 

Finally they’re done. Hope pays for everything and arranges to have it delivered that weekend. 

Kelley almost runs out to hail a cab. She would kill for a nap right now

 

Before her mom arrived Carli and Brian had already painted the nursery. Kelley kind of helped but mostly she just spending time with Hope,. They painted the walls in two shades of green. 

Two hours before the furniture was supposed to be delivered Carli calls to say that unfortunately she and Brian would not be able to help them set everything up. Hope doesn’t mind, they’re not in a hurry yet.

Kelley however freaks out a little. Again. Somehow she’s decided that now it’s her responsibility to assemble all the furniture.

Currently she’s sitting on the living room’s floor, trying to figure out the diagram to assemble the crib.

“Kelley you’re doing that wrong.”

“No I’m not,” Kelley refutes quickly.

Hope sighs and leans down to snatch the paper from Kelley’s hands. She turns it around and gives it back to her. “Look at the drawing again.”

“Huh, that makes more sense. Okay, I got this.”

She also refuses to let Hope or Judy lift anything heavy. She’s driving Hope insane with how overprotective she’s being. So there’s only one thing to do.

“Kelley? I’m really craving some ice cream, do you think –“

“I’m on it!” Kelley jumps and gathers her wallet and her phone.

“Rocky –“

“Road,” Kelley finishes Hope’s sentence and with a final grin she leaves.

“She’s insane,” Hope mumbles to herself and shakes her head.

“Love does that to people.”

 _I know_ seems too indifferent so Hope swallows the words. _I love her too_ seems a little scary. Also, Hope hasn't said those three little words to Kelley yet and she should be the first one to hear them.

“Hopey that woman is head over heels for you and it’s obvious you feel the same. What are you so afraid of?

“That she's going to leave." That she's bound to repeat her parents’ mistakes and Spencer will be in the middle of the crossfire. She doesn’t say any of that but Judy gets the message. Hope feels guilty when she sees the hurt look in her mom's face. They had resolved their differences a long time ago and Hope no longer resent her for everything that went wrong during her childhood but, she still carries the scars.

“You know, things didn't work out between your dad and me because we didn't love each other. It wasn't because we hadn't been together long enough. We could have waited ten years to get married and still we would've divorced. There's no magic number when it comes to love.” 

Hope touches her belly. She needs to do the right thing for her son but she's not sure what that is. 

“They didn’t have any Rocky Road but I got Fudge Brownie. Is that okay?” Kelley asks and she stays by the door. Ready to go out again if Hope asks.

Hope knows Kelley will go out again to search for her favorite ice cream if she asks but that’s not what she wants.

“That’s fine Kell. Come here.” Hope pats the couch.

Kelley shakes her head. “I still need to put together the crib.”

“It’s okay if we don’t finish today. We still have time Kell, sit down.”

Kelley halfheartedly obeys. Hope kisses her in thanks. They don't usually engage in PDA and that's the first time Hope kisses her in front of her mom (although it is not like Judy thinks they spend their nights braiding each other’s hair whenever Kelley sleeps over.)

Kelley blushes and Hope follows with her eyes as it disappears down her shirt. This is partly why they don't engage in PDA. It's really hard to kiss Kelley just once. She restrains herself though.

"When you put it like that I guess you're right, we can finish getting the room ready tomorrow." Kelley smiles goofily and Hope knows her strategy worked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you might've figured out by yourselves I decided to split the last chapter in two. I hope you've liked the story


	10. the end

It was an accident. While Kelley always leaves her phone in the most unusual places Hope doesn't really touch it. She is not the kind of person who goes through their significant other's phone. She knows the password though, it’s the initials of Kelley's family (DKEJ), which is admittedly really cute.  And when Kelley asks her to read or respond to a message for her Hope doesn't go snooping around the conversations.

Hope was brushing her teeth when the phone's screen lights up. It catches her attention and without thinking she looks down and reads the message.

CP: I know you're going to get the job Kell!

Job? Kelley didn't mention anything about looking for a new job.  Hope needs to know what's going on.

 

"Kell you have a text." Hope puts the phone next to Kelley on the bed.

"Thanks," Kelley answers without looking up from the book she's been reading.

Hope waits for a minute, but Kelley doesn't seem interested in reading the message. This is why she always prefers a direct approach.

"Why didn't you tell me you were looking for a job?" Hope blurts out.

That certainly gets a reaction from Kelley. She snaps the book shut and starts to ask "How did you," before she checks her phone. "Okay, that's why," she quips.

Hope isn't amused, though. She crosses her arms, waiting for an answer. It's a good thing her mom in on the grocery store.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I heard about a rehabilitation center that's looking to hire, but still when I sent them my resume I didn't think anything would come out of it. Then they called me and asked me to go in for an interview and I was trying to not get my hopes up."

Hope softens at that. She remembers how disappointed Kelley told her she felt before she started working at the gym. "I get it."

Kelley brightens up, feeling like she's off the hook. "It's a great opportunity though, I'll get to put my fancy education to a good use. The job comes with some sweet benefits, like they even have a daycare plan."

"You asked about their daycare?" Hope feels bewildered.

"Of course, that's the only thing you heard." Kelley chuckles bitterly and gets up from the bed. Somehow it feels like she's distanced herself a lot more than a couple of inches.

"I didn't think you were asking about something like that," Hope tries to defend herself.

"Why wouldn't I?" Kelley challenges Hope.

"What?" Hope couldn't have anticipated this when she saw that text message.

"I'm ready to be all in with you and Spencer. I want to plan my future around you."

"This isn't the time to talk about this." Hope's head is spinning. She feels blindsided by a conversation she knows they're both responsible for postponing too much. How does Kelley fit in her future is a question that keeps her up at nights.

"And when will it be huh? After he starts walking? Is that your big plan" Kelley doesn't let up. Every word is sharp like a knife and they hit their mark every time. Hope starts to get worked up and she keeps breathing faster and faster, until she has to sit down on the bed or she fears she might pass out.

"Hope, are you okay?" Almost immediately Kelley circles the room and kneels down in front of her. "I'm so sorry. Focus on your breathing."

Hope tries the breathing exercises she's learned in prenatal classes.

"You should go," she whispers after she calms down.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry I upset you, but I can't leave you alone like this," Kelley pleads.

"My mom should be on her way back. Please, just go," Hope says, holding back tears. She doesn't want Kelley to see her cry right now, she doesn't want her to comfort her. She closes her eyes, but she does her the door closing after Kelley.

 

 

For a day she doesn't hear of Kelley. Just a little over 24 hours, but it's the longest they've gone without at least one text since they started dating. Maybe she's just being stubborn, but after that fight Hope doesn't feel like she can be the first one to reach out. It's not easy though, her doubts weaken her resolve to not text first, because maybe Kelley is trying to give her her space thinking Hope is still upset. In the end it doesn't matter.

Kell: how are you?

Hope: I'm okay. Can you come to the apt? We need to talk

 

Kelley would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid. We need to talk usually precedes I don't think we should see each other anymore. It would break her, if Hope asked her to take a step back. She's not going to fix anything staring at Hope's door. 

Hope answers the door in sweatpants, a soft flannel button up and a messy bun. She looks like home to Kelley and she has to fight the urge to drop down to her knees and beg Hope to never leave her. 

Kelley offers Hope a tentative small smile that unconsciously broadens when Hope smiles back.

"I'm sorry I made you cry." It's the first thing Kelley says. It's what she has wanted to say ever since she left the apartment. But she didn't want to do it over the phone.

Hope reaches out for Kelley's hand. "Come on, we're not doing this on my doorway," and leads her to the living room.

"Hope I really am sorry," Kelley insists.

"I cried last time I ran out of peanut butter." Hope shrugs, dismissing the apology.

"Still, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It won't happen again," Kelley vows.

Hope grabs Kelley's hand and intertwine their fingers. Kelley brings their joint hands to her mouth and drops a kiss on Hope's hand. 

"Anyway, this is what I should've said," Kelley takes a deep breath, "I don't need to see my name on his birth certificate and I'm not going to buy a ring anytime soon. I just need to know that I'm not the only one who wants us to have a future together."

"You are a part of my future. The second most important part of my future." Hope puts their hands over her belly. “And I didn’t see that coming. I didn’t see you coming and it took me a while to figure that that’s not a bad thing.”

“Good.” Kelley nods.

“I still have no idea how to make everything work,” Hope admits warily.

"Well, I'm no expert but I think we're supposed to figure it out as we go. Together."

"I'm in love with you,” Hope confess.

“That's convenient because I love you too.”

Hope kisses her square on the mouth.

“Now that we’re on the same page, how has this little guy been acting?” Kelley rubs Hope’s belly.

“Pretty good I’d say. He still has that powerful kick even if he must be running out of space. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Just three more weeks before you do.”

 

 

Things were good between them after that. Better than good even, now that they got rid of the elephant in the room.

Kelley's first round interview was a success. The HR guy assured her that even if they were also calling back two other candidates, she would be their first pick.

That of course called for a celebration. Being nine months pregnant made it difficult for Hope to do a lot of celebration, or even walking but, she made the effort to go out for lunch with Kelley and her friends. Kelley said it would've been fine if they just had some ice cream but Kelley already makes a lot of adjustments to her life and Hope wanted to return the favor.

 

39 weeks and Hope is cranky and ready to not be pregnant anymore. Kelley, of course, finds it amusing and she's convinced she can kiss the crankiness away. It only works about 70% of the time though.

 

Kelley keeps bouncing her knees. She got to the rehabilitation center 20 minutes before the interview, figuring it was better to be early than late. She mentally goes through the answers she has prepared. If everything works out this Dr. Rampone, she doesn't know if it's a guy or a woman, is going to be her direct boss and making a good impression is essential.

"You must be Kelley." The woman, with a lab coat that identifies her as Dr. Rampone, must be in her early 40s and has the kind of face that makes you feel at ease.

"It's an honor to meet you Dr. Rampone." They shake hands firmly.

She smiles. "Please, just call me Christie."

Just then Kelley's phone beeps. "Sorry, let me put this on silence so it won't bother us again."

Kelley takes a quick peek at the screen. And then she does a double take.

Carli: Hope's water broke. Meet us at the hospital.

It takes a moment for the words to sink in. Hope is going into labor. It's time.

"I'm really sorry. This is my dream job but my girlfriend needs me right now. She um, is pregnant and her water just broke so I have to go."

Kelley doesn't wait around to look at Christie's reaction before taking off. That's the first time she has shared so much personal information during a job interview but it makes sense. Her entire life is about to change anyway.

Kelley doesn't try to hail a cab or anything. She just starts running. Later Hope will make fun of her and Spencer grows up hearing about how Kelley ran more than 15 blocks before she forced a cabbie to stop and get her to the hospital. 

 

She’s read the books and almost every website she could find. Kelley knows labor take time but she’s still afraid she’s going to miss something important. Especially because they agreed that Judy would be the one that goes inside with Hope to the delivery room. Hope had been afraid Kelley would feel offended at her decision but she supported it. Especially now that she was freaking out.

"Hope! I'm here! How are you? Are you in pain? What did the doctor said?"

"Kelley take a deep breath." Hope advises her.

Kelley chuckles at Hope trying to calm her down. "Sorry, I'm okay. I'm here."

Hope smiles tightlipped and Kelley forgets about her own fears.

"Everything is going to be just fine. You know what to do."

Kelley massages Hope's hand to calm her down during a contraction. 

"Do you want some ice chips?"

"Please."

Kelley frantically looks around for the ice.

Like magic, Judy appears with a cup of ice. “Here honey.”

Judy puts a hand on Kelley’s shoulder. “I remember when I gave birth to Hopey. I wasn’t even done with breakfast when I felt the labor pains begin. From there it was such a rush that when I got to the hospital there was no time to give me drugs. I wanted to kill the doctor but forty minutes later I had my Hope.”

“Sorry for that,” Hope tries to joke, face glistening with sweat.

Soon enough, it's time. 

"I'll be right here and when you come back you'll be with Spencer, your son," Kelley reassures Hope, and maybe herself.  

They both have shiny eyes when they kiss before they take Hope to the delivery room.

After she leaves Kelley wipes her eyes with the palm of her hands. If everything goes smoothly in two hours Hope should be back.

Brian and Carli do their best to distract Kelley and stop her from pacing. Kelley tries her best to focus on the conversation but the clock is always on her mind.

 

 

Hope is only half conscious when she’s brought back to her room. She keeps her eyes on the bassinet her son is. She’s so grateful that even he got a little impatient and decided to be born a week early there were no health issues that would require him to spend time in the NICU.

Someone suggest her to take a nap. Carli, maybe. She doesn’t mean to follow the advice but her eyes close on their own. In her dreams she sees Spencer, maybe three years old and sitting on Kelley’s lap while she reads to him. Hope is just outside the room, watching how Spencer hangs on every word out of Kelley’s mouth. Eventually they notice her and invite her in. She forgets how the dream ends but she always remember the joy it made her feel.

By the time she wakes up the room is quiet. So quiet she figures everyone left. Until Kelley realizes she’s awake and stands up.

“Hi there gorgeous,” Kelley whispers. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just gave birth.”

“That’s because you did.”

“Have you hold him yet?”

“No,” Kelley shakes her head shyly, “I mean he's sleeping, I don't want to wake him.” She excuses herself but Hope can see right through her

Turns out Spencer has a good timing. Hopefully that will stick. Now that the baby is crying Kelley has no other choice but to face her fears.

Kelley bites her lip as she tentatively reaches into the bassinet. Spencer doesn’t stop crying but Kelley doesn’t mind. She kind of likes how full of life he looks right then, nose scrunched up and arms flailing around. She takes slow steps, conscious of how precious her cargo is and also wanting to prolong this moment a little longer. Slowly she transfers Spencer to his mother's arms.

"I got you flowers but I crushed them a bit. I'll get you more."

“He’s beautiful.” Hope truly is in awe of this little human.

Hope looks up from her son to Kelley, perched on the corner of the bed and staring back at her softly. She’s the luckiest woman alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know much about pregnancy but hopefully this is at least a little believable. It was a nice journey anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> so.. this happened. I'm really tired so I didn't proofread this but if there's any glaring mistake I (might) edit it tomorrow.


End file.
